10:01 – Lance Olsen

10:01 – Lance Olsen

—-Pages 117-118—-


Times in his life Lewis Smoodin chose the fifth seat in a row for his viewing pleasure: 1. Times he believed it must be a beautiful day outside, only not in the city where he currently resided: 895. Times he delighted that English, with its vocabulary of over 1,000,000 words (3x more than French), is the largest language in history: 21. Times he hoped the invention of the iPod would transform his life into a musical: 479. Times he was forced to stop eating because one type of food on his plate made contact with another kind: 1,833. Times in his life Lewis liked being touched by another human being: 7. Times in the last month he ate at the Mall of America food court: 37. Times he had been able to tell with certainty if someone were interested or bored with what he was saying: 3. Times someone said something to Lewis Smoodin for which he had no reply: 1,376. Times married: 1. Times he began a conversation in the Mall of America food court with an unfamiliar person by saying My age is forty-three and I am five-feet-six-inches tall when I don’t wear my shoes: 112. Times Lewis employed the term foveated vision in the public sphere to denote how the human eye can only focus on one very small area on any given moment: 1. Times divorced: 1. Times he forgot he had a brother fighting in Iraq: 1,082. Times in his life he employed the term saccadic movement in the public sphere to denote how the human eye, in order to compensate for the aforementioned foveated vision, reflexively moves every 1/20 of a second in an attempt to perceive the entirety of its surrounding: 5. Times his brother fighting in Iraq forgot to acknowledge Lewis’s birthday: 43. Times he has had a birthday to forget: 43.

Times Lewis Smoodin wished time could run backwards: 4,502.

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